Feeling the pressure to make summer vacation the best it can be, yet also wondering how you'll ever manage the rest of your life that doesn’t summer off? You’re not alone. There’s still hope for a really good summer (without breaking your bandwidth).
It’s the beginning of June, and even the ads on the easy listening station in my dentist’s office is talking about how stressed out parents are going into summertime (“Don’t just survive this summer, thrive this summer!”)
Hearing that you might think, Sure, that's exactly what I want for my summer… but how the heck am I supposed to do that when my normal to-do list already has me drowning, and now I have to figure out what to do with my kids all summer??
1) ‘Good Enough’ Really Does Mean Good
2) Just Pick 3
Felicia came up with the rule of 3 for making the holidays feel more manageable and meaningful, and it applies perfectly for summertime too. It’s pretty simple - instead of trying to cram in every possible thing that can be done in a summer, pick your top three you want to do and plan those in. If you do more on top of that, great. And if you don't, you’ll still feel really, really good knowing that you got to do those 2 or 3 things that were most important to you.
Even with just three things we can get overly ambitious if we’re not careful here, so I want to encourage you to think about simple things as well: putting on the sprinkler, eating dinner outside on the patio, going to a baseball game, or just keeping popsicles stocked in the freezer!
When we limit our "must-do" list to just three meaningful “want to do” activities that feel like summer to us, we aren't being low achievers - we’re giving ourselves the summer we actually want! It’s how we ensure there’s time and energy to enjoy the popsicles, camping trips, or butterfly chasing that make summer feel like summer - not just cram an experience into an open slot of your already full schedule just for the sake of checking it off.
This is the beef we have with the well intentioned seasonal ‘bucket lists’ - they’re meant to be a reminder for us to enjoy the things we love and appreciate about the season, but when the list is running over a page long it can become a looming stressor. Do we really panic over every summer or season like it’s going to be our last (the origin of making a list of things to do before we ‘kick the bucket’), or can we simply be intentional and work in a few key things that bring us joy this summer?
Watch How to Pick Your Top 3 Holiday Priorities (and let the rest go)
3) Let Your Values be Your Guide
Felicia pointed out in one of our podcast chats once that even when people on social media show us “de-influencer” reels that try to showcase real life - it’s still a curated moment. Videos are edited, scenes are staged, and even just having the camera on us means that our behavior is going to change a bit.
I say this because I want you to stop looking at that person in your life or on social media who seems like they're managing it all just fine, and realize that they’re not doing all that you think they are.
They’ve had to pick and choose what things they can and can’t fit onto their plate, just like you. If they’re doing a bunch of things that you wish you were doing, remind yourself for a minute that there’s also plenty of things that you do that they most likely don’t.
And the best way that you can decide what is really important for you to do - what you actually want to be on your plate or not - is to let your values be your guide. Felicia and I led a great workshop once helping moms identify their top three values, and this was extremely powerful because when you know your core values, you can use them as a compass for keeping everything else on the right path.
4) Use the 5 D’s of plate management (they make your plate load way smaller, fast!)
This topic is so jammed packed with helpful strategies that we devoted an entire miniseries about the 5 D's on our podcast! We have some great suggestions you’ll want to use for summer and holiday planning alike, be sure to check it out or re-listen to get some fresh inspiration!
Check out this and other great conversations with real life solutions on our podcast Perfectly Imperfect: Embracing Real Motherhood.
5) Use Double Dips to make it easier
Double Dipping is our absolute favorite tool to lean on when we teach clients our Empowered Plate Method. It’s all about meeting more needs with less effort. We’ve hosted workshops and posted lots of examples online (if you follow us on Facebook or Instagram you’ve definitely seen some easy examples like this one from our real lives). Listen to the Double Dipping podcast episode for an overview of how it works.
There are hundreds of opportunities to Double Dipping throughout the summer months. Some help you get the other to-do’s done and out of the way so you can have more time for summer fun, and some of them help you prioritize your own quick recharge so you don’t crack before the 4th of July - and most of them are really easy.
A really fun Double Dip I’ve done for three summers now is something that all the neighborhood kids look forward to, and it takes some big stressors off of my plate for Christmas time.
It started with pre-making the sentimental and handmade presents I like to do for the grandparents (after 15 years working in preschool, I learned that anything made by kids earns mega brownie points with family) The summer timing is perfect for making these: the weather lets us do those often messy projects outside, plus there’s no stressful time crunch for things to dry in time to wrap and mail them (my grandmother lived in Alaska, and it was an absolute nightmare every year worrying things wouldn’t get there in time and that she’d feel forgotten!)
And so, our Christmas in July party tradition was born, and the kids love it! They make Christmas cards they’ll later send to family, paint salt dough ornaments or make handprint gifts, drink icy ‘snow drinks,’ and have a big paper snowball fight… What looks like a really fun party for the kids (which it is) is really a big Double Dip that saves the parents time and energy come the busy holiday season.
If that inspires you to start de-stressing your own holiday season, try these tips for actually enjoying the holidays instead of rushing around:
YouTube: Not a Mom Fail! (Christmas Version) // Unpacking my Holiday Bins
Podcast Episode: Surviving the "Ber" Months: Stop the Holiday Burnout Before it Starts
6) Our nervous systems need breaks, so leave space for rest
When given the opportunity, my bike racing, monkey bar climbing, just-keep-running-until-the-sun-goes-down kind of kid also loves to sit in the backyard and just stare into the leafy and green parts of our yard (he reminds me of Ferdinand the Bull). It’s a nice reminder that just as much as we humans might crave fun and adventure, we also need and crave rest.
Sometimes we get antsy, romanticise how special summer should feel, or feel guilty if our summers don’t seem epic. But as a teacher I could feel it in the air each spring just how tired and over it kids were at the end of the school year. They are itching for a break from regimented school days and crave some of that empty space we sometimes mistake for boredom.
Don’t get me wrong - I’m absolutely not chastising anyone for signing kids up for child care and summer camps during the school break. These are a necessity for working families, but I also believe that every parent should plan time this summer where someone else can watch their kids, regardless of your working status. That’s because parenthood is its own job, and in my opinion requires breaks, sick time, and vacation leave.
What I’m pointing out here is that even on these regular feeling, maybe less exciting days our kids use up mental, physical, social, and emotional energy - it’s not just the adventuring days that tire them out. Don’t be too quick to pack the rest of the summer calendar with adventures because you’re trying to make up for a less than glamorous schedule during the week. Leave some space for their nervous systems to recover from the business of life, rather than fill up every weekend with super fun, but exhausting, activities to try to make up the hum drum.
I mean, imagine how exhausted our kids would be if they always had to do something epic, crazy, awesome, amazing, rad, and wonderful all the time - can you imagine how completely drained they’d be? It may sound like a crazy scenario, but eventually they'd be begging us for some ‘nothing’ time, to slow down and just sit on the floor with boring old blocks or a toy car.
When it comes down to it, every child needs down time so they can integrate all that learning and growing they do during everyday life, and even the most active child will thrive when given a day off!
Which of these strategies are you going to use this summer to give yourself what you really want?
Sharing out loud is the best way you build momentum to make your goal really happen - tell us in the comments which of these six things you’re going to do this summer, cheer each other on too when you see someone’s comment, and share this resource with a friend so you can help take some stress off of their plate too!
