I dug this out of the archives, and it's exactly what I needed to read today - and I thought you might need it too! I wrote this to our newsletter list 3 years ago, and I think it's arguably MORE relevant now than it was then.
Happy reading and Happy Holidays! - Jenny
Anyone else watch “Bad Mom’s Christmas?” Felicia and I love it - my favorite part is the opening narration that calls out how ridiculously hard dedicated parents work to make the holidays the best it can possibly be for our kids - and how impossible it is to live up to this standard!
It’s no secret that there’s a lot of pressure we put on ourselves, and that society puts on us. Here are 3 ways to take some of it off of this past Christmas and the ones to come:
1. Ghosts of Christmases Past can become Presents to Christmases Future
When I was 7 years old my family moved over Christmas time, and ALL of our Christmas decorations were stuck in storage! Buying all new things was out of the question, and my parents hated the idea of one of my childhood Christmases being anything but magical. Luckily we were an artsy craftsy family. So, together, we all made ornaments out of wrapping paper, sparkly pipe cleaners, and a big roll of holographic snowflake stickers that still lives on in my craft closet!
What started out as a disaster became a very special and memorable Christmas. Almost 30 years later, the ornaments that lasted are some of my most cherished ones on my tree.
2. Do a missed want-to-do activity anyway (even in January)
There are usually more quintessential Christmas activities we want (or feel pressured) to do than we have time for in December. Likely, you had to skip something you didn't actually want to skip because you ran out of time and energy. But guess what? Most of them you can still do!
It’s a simple thought, but most of us get so caught up trying to make Christmas feel perfect that we forget rational concepts like this. It felt like an epiphany to me when I had this thought the year my son was one. I really wanted to make a “mistle-toes” art print with his little feet, but was way too tired before Christmas to do it (normally I’m a scrooge about hand and foot print art, but this one hits right me in the holiday feels). But on Jan. 15th the light bulb came on, and I just did it!
The following Christmas, when I unwrapped that sentimental treasure, I was even more proud of myself for following through on doing something important to me than ever before! Now when I look at his little green footprints I feel both mama joy AND pride in breaking free from the limiting belief that things must be done on one set timeline.
(If you listened to last week's podcast episode about surviving the "ber" months without holiday burn out, you know this story well! It's the legend of the January Footprints - cause I STILL feel crazy proud of not letting an imaginary deadline keep me from having something I love!)
3. Choose what's going to be different for next year
Parents have to be more creative and flexible than others in figuring out how we make time for reflection. Still, it's an important "want to do" I try to make space for amongst my "have to do's."
If something from this holiday season gets you down, take time now to assess it so you can work towards changing it next year. Sometimes the solution is as simple as a little planning or mindfulness. Other times we have regrets or frustrations that touch deeper matters of the heart, and we have to look below the surface: Were your values compromised? Was there something you wish you had stood up for? Did you veer from your own vision to make other people happy?
It may be uncomfortable at first, but doing this now can genuinely empower you to get the kind of Christmas you really want next year. We talked a lot about this in one of our summer time podcast episodes, "Family Vacations (and how to survive them)" - if you this is something you're dealing with I really encourage you to listen to this specific episode.
Helping parents figure out how they can prioritize their values without loosing their sanity is why Felicia and I do this work - if you’re feeling stuck on how to get more of what’s important to you and your family into your life (regardless of the season) don't give up! We have a lot of resources that help. We also invite you to schedule a time to chat with one of us about joining our beautiful community.
Get some more helpful tips:
This quick read:
- How to Beat Holiday Burnout with the "3 Things Rule" for Parents
Related podcast episodes (available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts):
- Season 2, Episode 13 - The "Ber" Months: How to Survive the Holiday Rush Without Burning Out
- Season 1, Episode 11 - Family Vacations (and how to survive them)
YouTube watch:
