The Parent Empowerment Movement - Blog #Holiday stressThe Parent Empowerment Movement - Blog #Holiday stresshttps://www.theparentempowermentmovement.com/blogs/tag/holiday-stressThu, 12 Mar 2026 18:19:21 -0700http://zoho.com/sites/<![CDATA[3 Christmas Fails that Aren’t Failures: Beating Holiday Perfectionism]]>https://www.theparentempowermentmovement.com/blogs/post/christmas-fails-holiday-perfectionismFeeling like you failed Christmas? Discover why 3 common holiday 'fails' are actually wins for the 'good enough' parent. Ditch the perfectionism today.]]>
I dug this out of the archives, and it's exactly what I needed to read today - and I thought you might need it too! I wrote this to our newsletter list 3 years ago, and I think it's arguably MORE relevant now than it was then.
​Happy reading and Happy Holidays! - Jenny

Anyone else watch “Bad Mom’s Christmas?” Felicia and I love it - my favorite part is the opening narration that calls out how ridiculously hard dedicated parents work to make the holidays the best it can possibly be for our kids - and how impossible it is to live up to this standard!
 
It’s no secret that there’s a lot of pressure we put on ourselves, and that society puts on us. Here are 3 ways to take some of it off of this past Christmas and the ones to come:

1. Ghosts of Christmases Past can become Presents to Christmases Future

30 year old handmade ornaments my family made during my parents' brilliant "Hail Mary" move to save Christmas when they thought it had been ruined.

When I was 7 years old my family moved over Christmas time, and ALL of our Christmas decorations were stuck in storage! Buying all new things was out of the question, and my parents hated the idea of one of my childhood Christmases being anything but magical. Luckily we were an artsy craftsy family. So, together, we all made ornaments out of wrapping paper, sparkly pipe cleaners, and a big roll of holographic snowflake stickers that still lives on in my craft closet!
 
What started out as a disaster became a very special and memorable Christmas. Almost 30 years later, the ornaments that lasted are some of my most cherished ones on my tree.

(I actually just recorded a whole YouTube video about this specific idea—link).

2. Do a missed want-to-do activity anyway (even in January)

The art print I made of my son's Mistle-toe feet. My favorite Christmas decoration, even though I made it in January.

There are usually more quintessential Christmas activities we want (or feel pressured) to do than we have time for in December. Likely, you had to skip something you didn't actually want to skip because you ran out of time and energy. But guess what? Most of them you can still do!
 
It’s a simple thought, but most of us get so caught up trying to make Christmas feel perfect that we forget rational concepts like this. It felt like an epiphany to me when I had this thought the year my son was one. I really wanted to make a “mistle-toes” art print with his little feet, but was way too tired before Christmas to do it (normally I’m a scrooge about hand and foot print art, but this one hits right me in the holiday feels). But on Jan. 15th the light bulb came on, and I just did it!
 
The following Christmas, when I unwrapped that sentimental treasure, I was even more proud of myself for following through on doing something important to me than ever before! Now when I look at his little green footprints I feel both mama joy AND pride in breaking free from the limiting belief that things must be done on one set timeline.

(If you listened to last week's podcast episode about surviving the "ber" months without holiday burn out, you know this story well! It's the legend of the January Footprints - cause I STILL feel crazy proud of not letting an imaginary deadline keep me from having something I love!)

3. Choose what's going to be different for next year

Me sitting on a stool to journal while my son is busy having fun counting his bath toys at bath time. Sometimes our best moments for self-care are when we're living life side by side our kids.

Parents have to be more creative and flexible than others in figuring out how we make time for reflection. Still, it's an important "want to do" I try to make space for amongst my "have to do's."

If something from this holiday season gets you down, take time now to assess it so you can work towards changing it next year. Sometimes the solution is as simple as a little planning or mindfulness. Other times we have regrets or frustrations that touch deeper matters of the heart, and we have to look below the surface: Were your values compromised? Was there something you wish you had stood up for? Did you veer from your own vision to make other people happy?

It may be uncomfortable at first, but doing this now can genuinely empower you to get the kind of Christmas you really want next year. We talked a lot about this in one of our summer time podcast episodes, "Family Vacations (and how to survive them)" - if you this is something you're dealing with I really encourage you to listen to this specific episode.

Helping parents figure out how they can prioritize their values without loosing their sanity is why Felicia and I do this work - if you’re feeling stuck on how to get more of what’s important to you and your family into your life (regardless of the season) don't give up! We have a lot of resources that help. We also invite you to schedule a time to chat with one of us about joining our beautiful community.

(schedule a chat for group)

Get some more helpful tips:


This quick read:

- How to Beat Holiday Burnout with the "3 Things Rule" for Parents


Related podcast episodes (available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts):

- Season 2, Episode 13 - The "Ber" Months: How to Survive the Holiday Rush Without Burning Out

- Season 1, Episode 11 - Family Vacations (and how to survive them)


YouTube watch:

- Not a Mom Fail (Christmas Version)

]]>Thu, 11 Dec 2025 15:06:15 -0800<![CDATA[Confessions of a 'Cruise Director' Mom: Why I'm Choosing to be an Anchor This Halloween]]>https://www.theparentempowermentmovement.com/blogs/post/anchor-not-cruise-director-halloweenFeeling parental burnout from Halloween expectations? Learn why shifting from a 'cruise director' mom to a calm 'anchor parent' can help you and your family actually enjoy the holiday.]]>

I know you are so stretched thin this week. Halloween has become a demanding holiday, with big expectations around every corner for us to make things grand and special. Plus, it throws a lot of curveballs at us as parents - from the parties and special events to attend, to getting the costumes right, to our kids staying up late and ingesting huge amounts of sugar all month long.

Throw in the fact that a lot of schools also have full or partial day closures for conferences during this time and all sense of normalcy or routine just seem to fly out the window!

(I'll admit it, as a teacher I am totally for timing conferences this way, but as a parent I also feel how hard it is to make it through such a crazy week)

Altogether, it's just so much going on that is meant to be fun, exciting, and memory-making stuff… but when there's so much of it, it's just too much.

And this I know to be true about holidays: you cannot savor a holiday or a special time if you are too stressed out by it.

I’ve learned this firsthand. The most painful example was the year I tried to put so much into one holiday - to try to include everybody, to do all the fun things, make all the good food - that the very people I wanted to do it for did it all for flat out told me afterwards they didn't have very much fun. I mean, how bad does it have to be when your incredibly polite and loving friends and family members are willing to confess that all that work you were trying to do for them actually stressed them out?

But they were right. If I’m honest, I didn't have a lot of fun that holiday either. Instead of creating quality memories for myself, what I remember most is feeling discouraged and disappointed when things weren’t working out how I wanted them too.

So learn from my mistake: Don't be the parent who hears from their kids years later, "Honestly mom, all that stuff you did to try to make it special and fun really just made us feel busy."

Instead of over-planning “the greatest Halloween season ever!” let’s get serious for a second and think realistically about moving the expectations down to, “Let’s actually enjoy Halloween, by enjoying what’s already good enough.”


Be the Anchor, Not the Cruise Director

My mom lovingly teases me about being "the cruise director," which is a dead-on label for me. I'm a Maximizer, an Enneagram Seven, a lover of possibilities, even a recovering perfectionist - I don't want to miss out on anything. I want to do all of the fun things, and I constantly have to face my fear of FOMO and call it into check.

But here's what I've learned about cruise directors: that role is appropriate for a big ship with thousands of people to please at different times. And it is a paid position; they are not curating fun and fulfillment for themselves, they are planning it for everyone around them.

It's not an appropriate role for guiding our families. Because guess what? Even though you're a mom, you're still part of the family. Your needs matter along with everyone else’s, and you get to have some fun along the way too.

So let's shift from being the cruise director to the ship's anchor.

The cruise director parent feels responsible for manufacturing fun, for managing everybody's emotions, and ensuring a perfect experience. That's exhausting, and impossible.

The anchor's only job is to be a calm, steady presence for the family. It’s what guides the back to normal when the waves of sugar and excitement get a little too rocky this week.

I’ll warn you though, this mindset shift is only going to work for you if you take some of those cruise director expectations off your plate first (you’ve heard Felicia and I say this before, you have to remove in order to improve). Take a look at your expectations for Halloween this year… where is there room to take something off of your plate?

Can the cupcakes you were supposed to bring to school be store-bought instead of homemade? Does the porch really have to look Pinterest-perfect? Does that costume really need those extra special touches that are going to require you putting in hours more work into it, or does your kid already think it's plenty cool as it is?

Removing just one "should" from your plate can give you back the time, energy, and focus you need become that anchor. When it feels rocky and chaotic this week, try to take a moment and think back to some of the things you’ve already rocked this month, and the things that are working out “good enough” for the kids to have a good time… and know that you’ve got this.


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